Dear Annie: Nearly 20 years ago, I worked for a local government mental health agency with around 650 employees. As a HR employee, I had access to literally all the employee information, so I knew everyone’s name. I generated pay stubs, handled all the insurance, and added and removed items as things changed in employees’ lives.
We had one employee who didn’t meet our standards and was constantly slacking. He had been with us for years, but his managers were at a loss. He worked in the substance abuse department and the HR director thought he was burned out.
So the HR manager said “a change is as good as a break” and transferred him to the senior citizens department. The employee was happy in the new department and we thought the problem was solved, but the new manager started having the same problems with him that the previous manager had.
The young human resources manager asked the man if he was suitable for the job.
I had known this man for years, we interacted frequently, as did the other employees, and he knew me.
Tests revealed that this 54-year-old man had advanced dementia, and I was so saddened by his state of confusion that I called him at home before completing my long-term disability assessment.
Since then, I’ve been urging people to understand that if someone is behaving differently than usual, they need to consider that it may be a medical problem. Stop thinking that a good man turned into an asshole overnight. Stop thinking that a perfect wife turned into a witch overnight, or that a loving mother suddenly turned into a mean old hag overnight. Do everyone a favor and take them to the doctor before you complain, get a divorce, or cut ties with a loved one or friend.
Our young HR manager could have fired the man, but she was smart and compassionate and made the 54-year-old “employable” so that he could receive a long-term disability pension.
Take a step back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “Is this person acting differently than usual?” What can you do to find out why? A trip to the doctor will answer a lot of your questions. — Older woman from Salt Lake City
Dear Woman in Salt Lake City: Thank you for your letter. You make a great point. Getting evaluated for “fit for work” is one of the most thoughtful things you can do for someone. Knowledge is power. Once you have all the facts you can make an informed decision.
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